Countdown
A girl finds an old box in her backyard one day, with a single peice of paper inside. The paper has tally marks written on it, and as the days tick by so do the tallies. The only question is , what happens when time is up?
Nice film but can be improved.
I like it. Although, I do think you could of give a little background on the the tally marks. overall, great film!!
The Seed of a Great Concept Here
I like your effort here and like the bones you're starting here. I think you could take what you have here and develop it much deeper and all that needs to happen in development before you start writing and especially before you start shooting. You just need to ask a few more questions to flesh out the idea: What's are the 3 strikes? what happens to her? Has she gotten involved in something that is creating the threat? The more you ask and answer the better it can and will be. Keep it up.
Set-Ups and Pay-Offs
You've done a great job of setting up something. The intrigue is there and you really go the whole way in setting up the fact that there are three chances before something happens. The pay-off on the other hand, I'm a bit confused as to what happened. She's disappeared but because I don't really have any more information than that, the audience is left a bit unfulfilled. So, just take a little more time when writing to assure that the pay-off will be there. Keep making films.
Tightening Up Your Edits
Congratulations on getting the film completed by yourself. Not an easy task. The note I would give you it to really focus on your editing next time around. One example is the digging up and opening of the box. Cut that scene so that the action moves much quicker. Your first cut to the close up was perfect. Then the action slows way down as she's opening it and looking at the note. All those shots could be much shorter. Try just recutting that scene and you'll see how much better it will be.
Nice Overall Effort
I like your overall effort. You thought through the shots and coverage. You wrote a script and executed that script. The feedback that I would give you is to keep pushing your effort to the next level. One example is your script: you have a story developing but it doesn't really finish to enough conclusion. It's true that something happened 3 times and then she is missing but you don't give the audience enough to have any sort of resolution to your plot. More development would fleshed that out.
Really Fun Idea
The concept of this project was great! I loved all the 80s references around the room and the horror posters were a nice touch. I would like to have heard more sound design since this was the sound design challenge. I think the shots in the bathroom could have been much cooler, with the streaks being more organic, and revealing her face as she wipes them off. Great way to treat the ending. I don't think you needed the shot of her seeing the box in her bedroom. Just cut to mom.